


the reason why we could never be...

by Fangirlqueen87



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Cancer, Death, F/M, Illness, M/M, Multi, True Love, a decade apart, all robert's emotions laid bare, alternative universe, keep reading till the end, set in 2025, torn choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:57:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlqueen87/pseuds/Fangirlqueen87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in 2025: Robert Sugden has just buried his wife, a decade after he made the toughest choice imaginable, one that changed his life forever, saying 'I do' and watching as he let his secret lover leave broken heartened without him ever knowing how much he would be missed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the reason why we could never be...

**Author's Note:**

> if cancer is a trigger maybe this fic isn't for you, i haven't been too specific about the condition but stil...
> 
> don't ask me where this came from because i don't know, i usually don't write stuff like this but somehow this entered my head this morning and i just had to write it and post it and make you all cry.

 

Robert stared down at the cards in front of him, encased in beautiful flower arrangements, lilies and roses mostly - Chrissie's favourite. Robert tried to choke back a few tears as he stared down at her grave, the coffin placed inside so swiftly, it was a perfect fit and completely shook Robert to the core, it felt as if she was ready to die, ready to leave him.

Diane, Andy and Victoria had finally decided to leave him alone after the funeral was over, Chrissie's son, Lachlan was already on his way back to boarding school showing no where near as much emotion as Robert had thought. That was the thing with the Whites though he gathered, after all these years, all the heartache, Chrissie had only ever cried that one time, on their wedding day. Her hair in a beautiful bun, jewels cascading down and her dress perfectly white, she looked stunning, yet her tears betrayed her and made her appear completely broken.

_"I didn't want to ruin it....our big day....Robert I have breast cancer."_

Robert would never forget the words, they changed everything, shifted her entire life as well as his. It killed him to think that as she cried on his shoulder he was thinking of _him_ , him at the back of his mind, waiting at the barn, bags packed, nervous smile, black hoodie. Waiting.

_"Because I love ya...and I think you feel the same."_

Robert would never forget those words either, it felt as everything suddenly grounded to a halt and all Robert could focus on was his soft blue eyes, filled with tears, and the word _love_ circling around and around and around in his mind.

A small part of him always wished he had never gone to the barn that morning, never kissed him, gave him some hope that they could be happy when he almost _knew_ it couldn't happen. Despite the way he told him that he would go pack a bag, the honesty was there but any form of realisation had gone out the window because all he seemed to be aware of was the fact that he had chased after this man since he first met him, any consideration for his fiancé never fell to his mind and that must have meant something. It did, it meant everything to the younger man with those blue eyes and that _love_ he had carried around with him for months.

Robert didn't expect to find her like that, broken. That wasn't Chrissie White. It turned out to be Chrissie Sugden though, tears and cries and anger and frustration and sheer envy at others who weren't riddled with this illness that she had succumbed to _twice_ at the end.

 

**

 

_"I do."_

Make her happy, make her smile. _Stop_ the tears.

 

**

 

Robert was trapped in a marriage, one he couldn't escape from because he still _loved_ her and desperately wanted to look after her and support her through it all the best way he could. The way a decent husband would he thought to himself as he muttered the words and saw the smile grow on her face.

Again though, he was there at the back of his mind, gelled hair and black jacket and telling Robert to run away with him and he was agreeing and kissing him softly and telling him he'd be back soon. He wanted to be back with him as Chrissie recited her vows, as he kissed her softly on the lips and they walked out of the church, as they cut their wedding cake and had their first dance.

Blue eyes and a small frown and a nervous smile, _him, him, him_. Until he actually was there, eyes again filled with tears and a bag at his side as he tried to not act as heartbroken as he seemed, as he watched Robert make his speech and confess to always loving his wife and supporting her "till death do us part..." that part dripped off Robert's tongue and made Chrissie look away and suddenly it all felt real, he could never leave her, not ever.

 

**

 

Suddenly Robert was running after him, reaching out and holding him him in the shadows of the estate, pretty lights flickering and making it all seem so tragic as Robert said: _"I love her, this was a mistake...you have to go."_

A knife twisting through it all, pulling out pieces of the troubled boy with those pretty scars and too much love to give.

_"You can't stay here, I can't see you again."_

Again, the same knife, this time stabbing into him as he bled, the tears pouring out and then Robert's own _real_ blood as a fist connected to his face, he couldn't blame him for being angry. He wanted to mend the pieces almost instantly but how could he?

In the space of a day, Robert Sugden's secret lover had confessed to _loving_ him and his then fiancé had confessed to having breast cancer.

His mind was jumbled up with hospital appointments and 'bad days' in bed for his wife, his poor wife, he couldn't possibly put his secret love through that situation as well. It just wouldn't work with the boy, the one with the dark lashes and scary uncle and rough hands. It couldn't work.

_"You'll never see me again, I mean it, I'm gone you prick. I hate ya."_

The words echoed in Robert's mind as he watched the young soul turn away from him, head in his hands and falling rain hitting him softly. Robert walled slowly towards him, _daring_ to follow, then Chrissie's voice soft and gentle by the door, "Robert, come back inside, I need you darling".

It said it all really, he ripped his eyes away from the boy who somehow managed to own a piece of his heart and walked back to his wife, in that moment he realised something dreadful. Chrissie needed him, yet he _needed_ shy nods and long sighs and eyes that said 'I want you', but he would never have that. He _couldn't_ ever have that.

_You'll never see me again"._

He was right.

 

**

 

A hand gently touched Robert's as he stood there, still staring down at the coffin buried in the ground. Robert turned around and saw who it was, his shoulders instantly relaxed, _Lawrence_.

Robert hated him at first, the way he believed he knew what was for the best when it came to his daughter's health and that Robert should just leave him to it. But then he found that he was in as much agony as everyone else was at the news, at Chrissie slowly loosing herself and becoming weak and dependent and vulnerable. Slowly a bond formed between them, Robert could turn to Lawrence for advice, for help, anything to make the weeks more bearable.

Lawrence was the first to realise who that piece of Robert's heart belonged to, Robert had stolen a picture of the long lost lover off Adam and hid it in his wallet to look at when he _needed_ to, when Chrissie was angry at the world and took it out on him. He would just stare and cry and wonder what he would be doing right in that moment, if his hair was floppy and filled with curls or slicked back with gel, if someone was making him sad, or worse, happy.

Someone other than himself making the blue eyed boy _happy_. Somehow the thought seemed completely unfair, especially when Robert had realised he was completely, and quite pathetically in love with _him_. In love with the moody stares and the sarcastic comments, his fragile heart that was somehow still in tact and the _love_ he could give, a love that made you feel _whole_.

Lawrence had just so happened to be around as Robert realised the horrifying truth, a truth that meant he didn't just _love_ a man he could never have again but was actually _in_ love with him. Robert had been a mess, crying and shaking in his car as he looked at the picture and felt pieces of his heart being ripped out, more he thought the moody mechanic was taking from him.

Robert had expected to be tossed out by Lawrence almost immediately after he discovered the truth but he wasn't, instead Lawrence explained his own struggles and commended Robert for 'doing the right thing' by sticking with Chrissie and helping her though the toughest part of her life.

Robert turned to Lawrence and nodded, he had aged terribly. With that Lawrence was gone, disappearing with a bottle of scotch in his hand that made Robert shake his head and sigh.

 

**

 

Spring came, the next year, bright flowers and sunshine and Chrissie was given that news they would never tire of hearing. 

_"We have been able to remove all traces of the cancer"_

A tight squeeze of the hand, a tear, another tear, a kiss and then relief.

Chrissie was still fragile when they boarded the plane, Robert had half expected her to cancel the plans last minute but she was somewhat determined to go travelling after she had been given the all clear.

Robert was happy, truly happy because it was like he had Chrissie back, he was relaxing on the beach and eating in exotic restaurants and finding himself falling in love with her all over again. But _he_ was still there. _Still_.

 _He_ would just enter Robert's head as he held Chrissie's hand along the beach or took pictures of the ancient buildings and make Robert think about how different it would have been if he had ended up holding those rough hands, if the feel of Chrissie's silky skin had never graced his body anymore. If he had just left that day, just disappeared.

 

***

 

Robert looked down at the flowers once more deciding to read some of the messages. A name struck out almost immediately: ' _All my love, Chas_ '.

She has moved away a few years ago with her partner James, he wondered how she would have found out the news but then Diane and her had remained close.

Robert had one clear memory of Chas Dingle, one that would never leave him:

( They had just got back from their time away, Chrissie was worn out and Robert told the driver to take her straight home whilst he visited Diane at the pub.

_"It was so lovely seeing him, I mean I never really got why he left in the first place...my own son just walking out like that, at least he stayed for a few weeks though..."_

Robert's ears were sensitive to this sort of talk, Chas rarely talked about her son anymore, _hurt_ that he had decided to leave one day and never look back, but then there she was chatting away to the locals about him coming home, coming back.

Robert had shivered all over at the thought, before realising it was all in the past tense. He _had_ been and _gone_ by the sounds of it and it completely _crushed_ Robert to realise.

Chas seemed to notice his expression, the way Robert seemed as though he had been _kicked_ in the gut and suddenly she was frowning, an eyebrow lifting as her suspicion grew, as if she _knew_ something. In that moment Robert half wanted her to say she knew all about it, and that her son never stopped asking about him and was still as madly in love with him as he was when he left. But then her expression changed, a softer one and as always asked what everyone seemed to: " _How's Chrissie doing?"_ ) 

 

**

 

Robert turned foul after that, a part of him, _deep_ down resenting Chrissie for never giving him the chance to explain to those blue eyes what exactly happened. He began to drink, heavily and Lawrence seemed to want to join him on his dark path, both of them keeping it from Chrissie who was suddenly this vibrant 'seize the day' sort of woman.

 

**

 

A birthday rolled by, and then another one, all _his_ , every year Robert would drive out to the lay-by, _that_ lay-by and _cry_. He was pathetic, still hung up on a chavvy dingle with too many issues to count, issues he wanted to share though, desperately.

He couldn't bring himself to cheat on Chrissie, especially not with a man, yet it felt as though he had been cheating on her throughout their entire marriage, it was always _him_ , always the smell of car oil and beer and that single confession of _love_.

 

**

 

Robert tried to leave, a part of him knowing Chrissie deserved so much better, someone happier, heartier, with this incredible amount of _love_ for her that he knew he just didn't have anymore. But then the news came, a small accident in the car and Chrissie toppled over, in hospital again, running tests again and then a discovery. Cancer, _again_.

This time stage three, the 'well it isn't stage four yet' stage which basically meant 'there's still a small chance of you surviving this if we're positive'.

 

**

 

All hope was lost shortly after that, Lawrence had become a heavy drinker and was no where near capable to offer his daughter the support she needed, so Robert was her sole career. This time she took the cancer completely differently, there was no days of feeling sorry for herself or hours spent hating the world. She merely got on with it and tried right until the end to fight for her life.

She lasted longer than anyone ever thought she would, three years, nearly.

Robert watched her _die_ , slowly, painfully, clasping onto her hands and realising that he had wasted a life with her, wasted an entire _life_ because blue eyes were always on his mind. He began to _hate_ him, hate him for controlling his life without even being apart of it, for making him wish he had abandoned his ill wife and making him feel sick at the thought. He _hated_ him as she closed her eyes and stopping breathing, _hated_ him as a nurse covered her body and the machine went dead, _hated_ him as he had to ring her son and tell him the news. Robert _hated_ the blue eyed boy, all the while knowing that, that was exactly what love felt like.

 

**

 

Rain started to drizzle down onto Robert's suit as he pulled his eyes away from the coffin, he pushed his head towards the ground as he made his way back towards the church. The rain was growing harder by the second and Robert found himself cursing in a grave yard, his eyes darting around to see if anyone was there, something inside him almost _telling_ him to do so.

A face met his, hair ruined by the rain, soft and fluffy, a weary smile, eyes large with nerves, a small shy blush and those eyes, _blue_ , so very _blue_.

"Aaron," a whisper was all it was but suddenly he felt almost _free_ , he hadn't been able to say his name for _ten_ years, he almost refused to but now he could because he was face to face with him again.

Aaron smiled softly, a weak one, but enough to make Robert's heart skip a beat, after all this time.

 

**

  
Robert found his feet moving closer to Aaron's, the rain was hitting them both but it felt as though the sun was shining, as Robert was able to look at Aaron closer. He had aged well, a few small lines under his eyes but that was about it, he still had that cheeky look about him that almost instantly told Robert that he hadn't been through too much pain. He was overwhelmingly settled by that thought.

"Look at ya," Robert blurted out, tears spilling out over his eyes as he took all of Aaron in. He was wearing a blue suit, damp from the rain and Robert's mind was back to all those years ago, that Christmas, Andy's wedding and _that_ suit.

Aaron gulped hard, telling Robert he was just as overwhelmed by the interaction. He had tears in his eyes too, threatening to spill over messily and then Robert was daring to lean forward, he did.

Robert couldn't care less about if anyone was watching them, if Harriet was lingering outside the church door still or not, Robert was pushing all his weight on Aaron and Aaron wasn't pulling away, he was holding him up and bringing him into a long embrace, a tight hug.

Robert couldn't explain the feeling. He felt as though he had come home again, and it felt completely odd, he had only known Aaron properly for _two_ months when he left. _Two_ months of harsh kisses and secret meetings and days spent chasing him around and wanting to be with him for a reason he couldn't quite describe.

 It had only taken two months for Aaron to fall in love with him, it had taken a lot longer for Robert to accept it.

 

**

 

Robert pulled off of Aaron first, a hand still placed on his chest as he tried to catch his breath back.

"I'm so...sorry," Aaron let out, a tear escaping him as he looked across at the flowers.

Robert didn't know what to say, he knew Aaron would understand though, how it felt to watch someone you love _die_ on you like that.

"She was great with it, this time around..." Robert let out gently, he was shaking as he spoke because he couldn't quite believe that Aaron had turned up.

Aaron frowned softly, Robert noticed a few more lines on his forehead than before.

"What do you mean this time around?" He asked, suddenly confused because despite the fact that Adam had told him about Chrissie dying of cancer, he wasn't aware she had had the illness before. He had been torn up when he first heard the news, news from home was never enjoyable and even Adam seemed to be chocking up as he spoke.

Aaron was only thinking of _him_ , he didn't ask how he was though, he somehow couldn't, yet it didn't stop him crying himself to sleep at the thought of him a widower, alone.

 

**

  
Robert sighed a little, his hands firmly in his pockets as he looked towards the ground, he never wanted Aaron to find out the real reason why he married Chrissie that day, why he _stayed_ because he knew it would change things. But where was the harm now, ten years had rolled by and Chrissie had passed.

"Aaron, I didn't want to tell ya...that's why I asked ya to leave all those years ago, on my wedding day," Robert said softly, "Chrissie she told me...she said she couldn't keep it from me, that she had...had cancer. I couldn't leave her for you, for _us,"_  he added shakily as he watched Aaron's face fall completely.

"Why didn't you - did you think I would really just, just tell ya to do one and that I wouldn't be there for ya through it, I would have Robert." Aaron was almost in tears again, it fell as though all those _years_ of hating Robert meant nothing anymore, completely disappeared.

Robert gulped hard and looked at Aaron sadly, "I know you would have, that's...that's what I was scared of." He whispered out making Aaron come nearer to him.

"What do you mean, _scared_?"

Robert sighed softly as he met Aaron's eyes and held a hand up to cup his face delicately, "Aaron you...you were this, _young_ , skilled, beautiful bloke who was already wasting his time living in some poxy village, with a coward like me. When you said you loved me, a part of me knew you did, _believed_ ya and the thought of you...standing by me as - as I stood by Chrissie, it felt _wrong_. I couldn't put ya through that." He said almost begging Aaron to realise that he had tried his best all those years ago to spare his feelings as best he could.

Aaron shook his head a little, in protest. "I should have had a say at least," he said sadly, he didn't say anything else though because he knew that somehow it made sense, that he probably wouldn't have been able to put up with Chrissie needing Robert so badly. His heart was too big to carry that much guilt as he spent afternoons with her husband as she missed him terribly at home, weak from chemo in _their_ bed.

 

**

 

Aaron sighed hard, "I hated ya for so long," he blurted out making Robert nod, he expected it. "And then, then I came back to visit one summer and...and a part of me only wanted to see ya, wished you'd be in the pub talking to Diane and I'd see ya and we'd talk and you'd explain and I'd forgive ya." He spoke so softly it nearly killed Robert, he had no idea how heartbreaking it must have been for him to realise he was gone, traveling with his wife.

Aaron looked towards the ground, "And I get here, and Victoria won't stop banging on about all the pictures Chrissie has sent her. So I see one. Out of the corner of my eye, mind...and you're there, hand on her shoulder, leaning in, kissing her mouth." Aaron spoke quickly, the words almost like venom. Robert winced at them.

 "You looked so happy." Aaron breathed out as he looked at Robert.

Robert bit down on his lip and sighed, "What do you want me to say Aaron?" He nearly snapped and Aaron's eyes widened in shock, "That, the _whole_ time I was thinking about you? That..that as I was holding my _wife's_ hand on that fucking beach, _you_ were the only person on my mind because I couldn't help but wonder how it would have felt to hold yours again?" I'd sound pretty pathetic if that was the truth eh?" a tear rolled down his eyes and Aaron stared at him in shock, "But it is so...so I can't do anything about it." He continued and suddenly Aaron was shaking his head and sighing because he didn't expect that.

"When I came back, when Chas said you'd been here -"

Aaron snapped his head up, "What did she say?" He said slightly worried.

Robert frowned, more rain was falling now, "Nothing just that...that you'd visited..." He replied, watching as Aaron squirmed slightly.

"She was probably tryna rub it in considering," Aaron muttered towards the floor and then looked back at Robert, suddenly noticing the way his eyes appeared somewhat greener than he remembered.

Robert frowned again, Aaron counted the lines, one, two, three, four.

"Considering what?" Robert blurted out.

Aaron placed a hand in his pocket and rubbed the other one over his face, "I told her, everything," he said quickly watching as Robert tried to get his head around it, Chas had known this whole time and hadn't said a word. "She saw me, crying over the photo and she asked me what was wrong, I was sick of lying and I told her about the affair, about me telling you I loved ya but...but you marrying Chrissie anyway, about me thinking we were gonna run away together and that being the reason I left. I promised her not to tell ya she knew."

Robert shook his head, he couldn't quite believe Chas wouldn't say anything but then again she did seem sincere whenever she asked about Chrissie, maybe she felt sorry for him.

"She certainly didn't mention Chrissie had just recovered from cancer, maybe she didn't want me knowing that it was the reason you probably didn't want to run away with me." Aaron rolled his eyes, if only she had told him then he wouldn't have carried around this hate for _years_.

 

**

  
Robert nodded his head and looked towards Aaron, letting out a shaky breath, "Why did you come back here?" He asked gently.

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "A tiny part of me...wondered if ya...if ya would have maybe wanted me -"

"I always have," Robert wanted to stop himself but he couldn't "I always will, being apart from ya for _ten_ years has taught me that much." He continued, words he had longed to say for so long all flooding out.

Aaron hadn't expected this reaction, in all honesty he thought Robert would chase him out of the village calling him a mistake and wanting nothing to do with him.

"Robert -"

Robert moved a hand up to cup Aaron's face again, "Aaron, I let you go once...it was the biggest mistake of my life. It really was..." he had tears in his eyes again, "I never thought I'd get the chance to say...to say -"

Aaron pulled away quickly, "Don't." He said, the thought of Robert saying the words made him panic inside, "Don't say it 'cos your wife is dead...or you think it's what I want to hear Rob."

 _Rob_ , he had missed that.

Robert held Aaron by the waist, their foreheads touching delicately as Robert gently hovered at Aaron's lips _I've missed you_ he wanted to say but instead his heart finally allowed him to say "I love you Aaron, I always have." instead.

 

**

 

Aaron felt as though something had finally been able to be unlocked, a small part of him was almost free from the misery and the pain that Robert Sugden was boxed in and the rain somehow stopped falling, how fitting.

He couldn't deny the feeling, he had been doing that for the past _decade_ and slowly Robert was edging closer and closer until Aaron could _feel_ Robert's lips on his and they were kissing, Robert's hand clapping the back of Aaron's neck like always and Aaron's head tilted to the right like always. After all that time, all that space, things just seemed to slot back into place as they stood there kissing as if they had all the time in world to do just that and _nothing_ else.

 

**

 

"Daddy daddy!" a small voice, high pitched and full of life.

Aaron pulled away sharply at the sound and turned around to see the boy running towards him, dark floppy hair and piercing blue eyes and a soft chubby little face.

"I thought daddy told you to wait in the car?" Aaron said in the most parent sort of voice possible that caught Robert by complete surprise.

Robert stared in shock as Aaron lifted him up into his arms and slowly turned back around to look at Robert and gage some sort of reaction.

"Daddy?" Robert said nervously as he looked at the little boy, he was _really_ fucking adorable he thought as he placed with Aaron's hands.

Aaron gulped hard, "Er yeah, well not like, I mean...I didn't have s-e-x with ya know his mummy." Even the way Aaron said mummy and spelt out naughty words was making Robert feel this weird feeling.

Robert couldn't take his eyes off the little boy who seemed to be just as interested in him. Chrisse and him never thought about having children, he told her after her first battle with cancer that he didn't want any, but only to not make her feel guilty about her body probably not being able to deal with the pressure of a pregnancy. He always thought of little girls when he thought about children with Chrissie but now looking at the little boy in Aaron's arms made him long for one of his own.

"I gathered that much, considering." Robert let out a nervous laugh and Aaron smiled back just as awkwardly.

"My friend, Georgina, she really wanted one." Aaron said patting down the little one's hair, "She couldn't though, and she wanted to do IVF, the more she looked into it...the more I wanted a kid too and well, ya know medically they got my s-"

Robert's eyes widened, "Yeah I know how that stuff works Aaron." He said with a smile that made Aaron blush.

The little boy wouldn't stop staring at Robert and Aaron felt his heart tug a little, as if his little boy almost _knew_ the importance of the tall blonde man with the freckles.

"Er I should really introduce ya," Aaron said clearing his throat, "Robert this is my little man Callum, and Callum this is...my...my Robert." He said, blushing at the end and making Robert's heart skip slightly.

Callum smiled at Robert innocently and then slapped at Aaron's hand gently, "I like _Cal_ daddy, mummy calls my Cal." He said cheekily as he watched Aaron gasp playfully at his sudden outburst.

"Well sorry bud, you're all mine this week so I get to call ya what I want." Aaron eyes were almost alive as he spoke to Callum, even bluer, even brighter as Callum began to laugh and squirm from Aaron's tickles.

"Stawp daddy, stawp...it ticklessssss." Callum let out between breathless laughs, "Gimme to Robbie now," he added as Aaron finally stopped.

Robert's eyes widened in shock at the little boy who was staring at his daddy, his own eyes wide with anticipation.

Aaron looked over towards Robert and saw the shock on his face, regretting bringing the little boy in the first place who had obviously changed things. "Er Robert...no don't, just...just go run around for a bit yeah." Aaron said moving his son towards the ground and watching as he began pouting and splashing in the puddles.

Aaron looked at Robert again, "I'm sorry, bit of a shock, _me_ with a kid -"

Robert was still staring at Callum, he reminded him so much of Aaron it overwhelmed him, "You're great with him." He blurted out, honestly causing Aaron to raise an eyebrow.

"I wasn't always...struggled at the beginning a bit." Aaron said thinking back to the way he had questioned his parental skills when Callum was first born.

"I wish I would have been there." Robert whispered without thinking, he was suddenly just speaking from the heart and it felt weirdly _natural_.

Aaron didn't know what to say, he just had to wrap a hand in Robert's and hold it tightly before whispering, "You're here now, somehow that matters even more," he let out as he looked towards Callum playing with the twigs in his little patterned jumper.

"Robert," Aaron said slowly still staring Callum, "I'm not asking you to forget her...I know how it feels...she'll never leave ya...but I'm here." Aaron turned to look at Robert who suddenly was tearing up again, "And I'm yours, and I _love_ ya, and...I want ya to be apart of my life," he whispered before looking Callum " _Our_ life's, for  _good_ this time." He added, tears in his eyes and his heart on the line look all those years ago.

 " _I'm yours, and I love ya."_

 It was there again, like a song, sweet and inviting, escaping his lips and melting into Robert. _Again and again and again._

 

_**_

 

Robert pushed his lips onto Aaron's, "There's _nothing_ I'd like more," he whispered into his parted lips.

Callum turned towards his daddy and Robert, tilting his head and smiling before racing back towards them and tugging at Robert's leg.

"Rob...Robbie hold me," Callum moaned, his face filled with apprehension again but this time a smile larger than before making Robert's heart explode.

Robert looked towards Aaron almost asking him if it was okay, Aaron nodded his head not quite believing that his little boy was suddenly so accepting of people, especially a tall lanky bloke like Robert.

Robert crouched down to Callum's level and tapped at his nose, "Climb on my back Cal." He whispered with a wink making Callum smile even wider at the nickname he asked for.

Aaron rolled his eyes knowing that Robert had already charmed his way into his son's heart. Callum fell onto Robert's shoulders in a bundle, Robert whispering 'careful buddie' as he moved his legs onto either side of Robert's shoulders and lifted himself up.

"Can Robbie come back to our house daddy?" Callum let out making Robert wonder where exactly they were living.

Aaron's eyes widened.

"And whereabouts would that be?" Robert asked Aaron softly, meeting his eyes.

"It would be...Leeds." Aaron mumbled out with a smile. Robert raised an eyebrow, he had been so close.

Robert smiled softly, reaching out a hand for Aaron's and then looking up to Callum on his shoulder, "Lets get this little man home then eh," he whispered making Aaron's heart skip a beat.

"Really?" Aaron asked innocently, his voice shaky and unsure because was Robert really accepting him after all this time.

"Really really" Robert whispered gently, causing Aaron to frown. "Are you really sure Rob? This is...a big deal and...Chrissie's just -"

"Stop babbling on daddy, I want Robbie to read me a story when we go home." Callum let out, annoyed that his daddy was taking so long.

Aaron couldn't help but laugh as he looked at Robert and realised he was sure, he wanted him, _them_.

"C'mon then, let's get ya home." Aaron sighed playfully before holding onto Robert's hand and hearing Callum cheer.

Robert knew it wouldn't be plain sailing, he knew he was still grieving for his wife, still tortured by her death and the way she left him. He knew it was probably too soon for him to be with anyone new, but Aaron wasn't new, Aaron was Aaron, his Aaron, he had always been his Aaron.

"Home." Robert whispered as he got to Aaron's car and placed Callum in his car seat, that special smile the little boy wore was still there.

 

**

 

 _Home_.

Robert thought as he squeezed onto Aaron's hand and leaned back against the seat, finally able to let out a sigh held in for a decade, a sigh of absolute relief, he had come home to Aaron.

 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah that happened, tell me what you think!


End file.
